there's a heaven above you.

who's watching over us?
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back from overnight prayer meet, yet not exactly drained.

will not talk upon details that will inflict damage. i guess it was necessary, but i cant leave it at that.

i wonder abt tis freaking year. 2005. bad year or good year. there are 2 ways i can see this. 1st way: VERY BAD YEAR, not good GPA, not good times. i detest this year. 2nd way is: VERY BAD year, not good GPA, not good times BUT i will give thanks because this was a learning point.

its not easy to complete way 2. i realise i m not strong enuff. to me, im a VOID. dark VOID. u know what is VOID?

VOID

1. Containing no matter; empty.
2. Not occupied; unfilled.
3. Completely lacking; devoid: void of understanding. See Synonyms at empty.
4. Ineffective; useless.

i guess its pretty sad. dark void. i reflect upon how i use my life this year. i have really been overconfident and too prideful. i seem to tink im too good. more like actually, i have been given abilities but i really overlook it. i cant do much on my own strength... its another strength i have to be fueled from, God's strength. i need plenty of that. there are many things i cant do on my own, so let me go back.

its a shame u know. as a christian. i really feel so angry with myself sometimes cos i know God forgives. as a human, i cant care abt pride anymore, and i need to repent. i need to reestablish myself. VOIDS are scary.

and a second part of last nite.. well.. it was.. i dunno, i cant find another word.

that's all i suppose.