one last breath.

old songs are great to practice on.

tmr im going to east coast to do filming. wow. the story is not bad, the tragic romance. i would really love to execute it into a film version. wow. really fun indeed.

no im not being sarcastic. haha in fact im really interested. already simulated a couple of scenes for it already. im no director, but i guess its fun to dream from the current position im at(that is, technical producer. classmates, read the brief then comment.. lol)

ok. strumming has to be done so much. barring practices.. i need to train up and reach a new level of guitar. im not near anywhere yet. 4 months left to attain classical mastery, near perfect ear training.

everytime i hold a guitar i ask myself a question.. that is the favourite question of the guitar... why am i playing it? technically there shldnt be a reason for it anymore. i dun tink the obsession wif music is strong enuff to own me to go thru. i liked music in e past, but only picked up guitar 4 years later.

i have a nasty habit of seeing everything so competitively. must be my parents, keep driving me to this breach. haha no la, there are hellishly a lot more factors. i guess of course, it has to do with self esteem. this motto of, "wad i do not have, i replace wif another" habit sux.

i tink my gpa dream is getting further away. haiz. lusia said i didnt do too well for econs. im so bloody discouraged. i wanna score well.. but i cant understand a shit of econs. dun talk abt ipra, tt module.. well.. i dunno how to go thru an exam.

EXAM SCHEDULE
22-2 FUNE (econs)
28-2 IPRA

argh. the heat from this. its killing me. i hav bloody voices screaming in my head telling me if i dun get GPA 3 by graduation, im in trouble. hell, 2.1 now is such a dnager zone. arhg. i better start wif 2.5 first.

i guess its a key reason tts making me stressed and depressed. i dunno why.. this horrible feeling eats into me. playing doesnt relieve anything! it haunts me. i tink its the comp... i use it, and im reminded of work. my "my documents" folder has a lot of work. geez.. looking at it is horrible feeling.

i want ps2 to be back in action.. i wanna race again in xbox.. but even so. i guess it doesnt solve much eh...

lets not let old habits and problems return. i feel alone in what i do. i guess its a feeling im used to.