sad old year, happy new year: the conclusion of MOMO.

we look at 2005 tragically. but its gone.
welcome 2006! may you not screw up like ur predecessors.

ok, heading is what you guys will be reading for. so lets go straight in after i talk in chronologically.

went out wif yin von cher and her les gf(ahem) to see fireworks for the new year counting down. we headed to the COFFEE CLUB to have our dinner.. food was great and refreshing. awesome. den went to walk ard the town and slacked.. until highlight of the night, fireworks. on our time passing, we passed by the magnificent FULLERTON HOTEL, and i love cars! ok la, a bit sad la. no lamborghini. u know im a lamborghini-maniac. bt i will settle for less(or more, whichever applicable). ahha.. fullerton has a wide range of cars which i took photos with. start out with..MERCEDES BENZ CLS500, although doesnt seem to sound expensive, but my opinion is that a nice merc car has its badge not suspended(with the exception of merc vans la.). that one nth special. after tt it was Porsche Carrera S. very nice car, very low suspension.. i like~. den there was BMW Z4 Convertible. whoa. nice one again. hahah but i still wan my gallardo.

den yea. fireworks. (yes highlight coming) i called her to wish her happy new year. what a year it will have been. we talked a bit on hp la, but i tink we didnt make much progress.. only left me more frustrated. so went home to call her. yin and von kept saying "ai zai." i muz have looked so black. haha. had to wait even for her to be ready to be called. im seriously such a pushover huh? but anyway yea. just waited.

the conclusion was that yea.. she still has feelings. she aint remorseless at least. she just feels very confused about how to show it. it was when i came to realise what i needed to do.. ive been quite foolish la. i really forgot abt her own fear of church also la. stupid la.

it was by examples she saw that scared her. and stupid me had to even push her to corners. i guess it was useless if we carried on. i concluded this way... we will just move on with life. we will just accept the fact we liked each other, but we just arent matchable(shan hu hai???) and yea. that will have to be the solution. i break free myself. cos i start it, i end it.

she was reluctant(sincere or not, that's not our biz anymore la) to let me go with this decision. i just had to ask her la, "u got any ideas then?" she keep quiet. of course. she ask me then what happens to me. what happens to me? what do you guys think?

actually, nothing changes. in this whole thing. i lost much. but making such a decision.. i lose less.

its a sore lose-lose situation. pick the better loss. i guess the best way we will conclude is this. we move on with life.. we accept the fact we liekd eache other, but never worked out, and maybe in e future if we ever still like each other, we perhaps try again at a more mature level, but no promises. its a completely fair way to her la. she feels its unfair to me. no la, at this level i care less. its better that way la. i got brain one k. just nv used it. its almost brand new.

so.. who wins?

its clear isnt it.

nobody.
at this rate i move on wif my own life la. but right now i tink i just wanna shut my door and talk wif God. put myself right before Him. if i dont do that, im not right before man themselves.

thank you for a wonderful 2005. i give thanks for it.