(sic)

do i just feel like i'm being manipulated, taken advantage of?

i feel like that... it's utterly irritating.

am i sure that i will be ready again? will i be strong enough to hold myself against the same events?

a bad event that happened to you once was perhaps a mistake of both parties. the same event rehappening.. now that can only be your own fault.

it's a stupid confusing feeling.. really sucks. i don't need such stuff now. why do i go through all this rubbish! i should be fine! i should have moved on a long while ago! yes! for a moment i would have been invincible if not the weak spot was attacked.

perhaps being forgiving sometimes is a fool's error.

not to add that i have results in about 7 and a half hours time. God-willing, i will get my 2.5 GPA for the sem. i will be very disappointed if i don't. i really focused.. and tried my best..

i don't wan to be complacent too.. its screwing my head around.. humble me.. and make me have the basic discipline of disciplines.

save me.