behold the king, the king of kings.

going to be busy very soon...

2 BBQs consecutively next week. Monday is with class, tuesday at youth retreat. just great, my throat just WON'T be wrecked at the end of the week.

i hope the job von-sama suggested will get through. i need the money. besides, rotting at home with GTA all day, it's very tiring.

then there is the problem of doing things alone, damn bloody boring, so leaving house doesn't actually solve anything.

anyway, there is nothing really much to blog about. funny that at a time like this there is a blogging spree yet there is no content, while in the past there is more content than now.

hmm. i have been thinking what i want to accomplish in my youth.

i realise i want to play music professionally... not really the hardcore way like Gun's N Roses, but maybe locally just have some fun. perhaps Dong has somehow inspired me. haha. music has been really cool, and i feel like it can do better. i would have liked to be either a drummer or lead guitarist, but hey, being a bassist ain't too bad either. drums, to me is quite a sad case, because i have no body rhythm. maybe i can train, but well, it seems like it's going to take a long time. i'll just play something with strings then.

i think most of these ambitions are linked to media stuff... music... blah blah.. it's school's influence. i want to do video stuffs next time too. like maybe director? i don't really think so, don't really think i'm that cut out for that sort... perhaps smaller scale. besides, i don't have that much knowledge anyway. pity, perhaps i could have made it if i was in specialist diploma.

but i don't wish to be a reporter... i don't want to go snooping for news PROFESSIONALLY. i think it sounds kind of disgusting. very low-life. i realise i may not really be a people person after all. initial stages always kill me, it's the building up part that perhaps i'm better at, but hey, without the initial part what can i do?

what else do i want? i want a car. nuff' said. you guys wouldn't want to get me started on such boring details. a cool and simple car will do. i don't even care if it runs like at 220km/h. this is SINGAPORE.

i want a big PERSONAL SPACE. something like having an own room, but just bigger. i wouldn't like to live in an apartment alone, but i need want so many gadgets.

but all this are so material!

not going to settle enough.

perhaps God would make me a pastor or something. i'm scared of that reality, honestly, but hey, i think i will just do it anyway, and maybe just get used to it.

but i do understand that having physical stuff is so dry. it doesn't solve anything else.

much to contrary belief, i don't really need emotional support. YES it's damn true. i've always wanted it only. but i think i have proved to be able to survive it for a damn long time without it. maybe older then i can start looking at it more professionally.

hmm, if times were ancient. i'd still want to be king. and rule all scrawny asses. it doesn't matter if the country falls or revolts! i want to rule! wahahah. get grip. GRIP.

it's all for fun. dream for these, we may never get them. the equation of

our plan < God's plan

i had to come to terms with that a long time ago. oh well. move on with what you can, work towards what you can, and see what happens. just live in your own world will do i suppose, as long as you don't selfishly affect other people.