ridiculed for nothing.

why am i so unproductive.

i wan an electric guitar. speaking of music.. i went to the innova gig on friday. it is not bad.. except.. i feel so sleepy thruout. wanna guess why? hint: theme was Love Under The Stars.

my gawd. if it was Metallic Clashing, i would have went high.. i mean, where is the MOSH!! where are the incredibly slashing SOLOs!! its good that edmund's mum paid for our entry. though i feel a bit cheated when i realised they wanted to play COLLIDE. i wanted to faint. yea yea.. its a freaking valentine-themed one. edmund's one was good though. i mean, for a category i didnt like, they played not bad, sang not bad too. a term for edmund like ACOUSTIC GUITARIST doesnt seem very nice. i was tinking ACOUSTIC RHYTHMIST sounds nicer.

some of them were like.. OHH.. please stop singing. if u cant, we can do without.

IN OTHER NEWS...

i feel unproductive in ECONS. oh God spare me some grace and mercy, will i be able to scrape it thru again, depends on you. BUT i wan to og to a university la. argh. haiz. i have complete trust in Your Plan.

anyway nobody tags my board. i feel this blog is so dead.

there isnt much for me to write. but except this can be a channel to train my typing, my english(although doesnt help much).. etc.

i sorted out my room. soon i will be able to study. if i get a C grade for econs, i will treat lunch!(von! PEPPER LUNCH also can!) and to be fair, i will study as hard as i can. haha

i wan to be disciplined. train myself.

oh. i just realised IPRA exam is on someone's bday(28/2). hehz. tragic memory again. haha but i tink the others rite. i handled this well. and i shall continue to handle well too. dun believe in bad blood or vengeance or just pure condemnation.. i tink i already forgave her when i didnt block her. long time back. i wonder why im not like angry, hate her tt sort, suppose to be brutally hurt.. but im still cool, pulling off just fine. i dun tink i got the right to be angry. bcos i fell into the trap myself. i was the fool. her fault is as big as mine's.

I SHOULD BLOODY STOP REMINSCENCING. these ppl somehow dun deserve a chance. but a policy i live by is.. NEVER HATE SOMETHING YOU ONCE LOVED. i dunno why. it just seems like hating is all wrong anyway.

self-esteem remains scarred. but i wna to channel it to something better. i have lived the wrong principle. no one ever liked(that sort of like) me before. she doesnt count.

but it don't matter. its a wrong principle, and i wan to change it. i shld bloody live the way i wan.

(: