and time is on your side.

just reached home after spending time watching a movie called Get Rich or Die Tryin'... starring 50cent. quite interesting.. the ghetto, black stuff. it's a pretty interesting show featuring the life of the blacks in the states, their druggy lifestyles, the trade, the gangsta-rism, rap, etc etc. just something interesting.

took a ride on junwei's cab home then transitted from there. crazy driver is some glue-sniffer, the smell reeked in his cab.. could hardly breathe! stepped out and my mind was in a daze and hurting. crazy driver... amazing he still drove straight.

the posts on the blog are really boring, aren't they? but i question, what is the blog's true purpose? and come to think about it, it was my storage for all the negativity in my mind. i throw everything out here so that i can feel some relaxation.

nah.. it ain't to seek attention to let people come and pity me. i begin to be the sort that don't give no shit to anybody about what they think about me. if they don't like me, so be it isn't it? unless the issues of misunderstanding reach me, i may get involved somehow. well, i think being secure is a good thing, so i hope i can achieve that.

my greatest weakness.. you all know it... shall not say about it much. my emotions are still not strong enough.

it is irritating to hear things ringing in your head, reminding you of truths (or sometimes useless lies) related to you. i don't need them at all, they are just going to put me back on some emotional rollercoaster. it's not fun at all. swinging around everywhere like some maniac, just not fun. hopefully i get to conquer things easier.

i cant help it if i like someone can i? i thought there was a way to forcefully succumb it, but emotion is a stupid thing... it expands easily. i hate it.

and not being able to solve that emotion... is worse.

i'm like... to hell with emotion.

yea, hopefully i can do that and be some devoid fellow who can be totally cool. haha... me being the cool sort? not very likely. i am that sort of vibrant and loud fellow who expresses too much? but i wonder what am i really showing to everyone? a side of me i want to escape to? or a me that feels comfortable when i am with them? or what?

seeking answers to myself... an 17++ year old shouldn't go too hard on himself to find himself. well, my mind is not 17++ at all, or at least i feel so.