there's a heaven above you.

who's watching over us?
----------------------

back from overnight prayer meet, yet not exactly drained.

will not talk upon details that will inflict damage. i guess it was necessary, but i cant leave it at that.

i wonder abt tis freaking year. 2005. bad year or good year. there are 2 ways i can see this. 1st way: VERY BAD YEAR, not good GPA, not good times. i detest this year. 2nd way is: VERY BAD year, not good GPA, not good times BUT i will give thanks because this was a learning point.

its not easy to complete way 2. i realise i m not strong enuff. to me, im a VOID. dark VOID. u know what is VOID?

VOID

1. Containing no matter; empty.
2. Not occupied; unfilled.
3. Completely lacking; devoid: void of understanding. See Synonyms at empty.
4. Ineffective; useless.

i guess its pretty sad. dark void. i reflect upon how i use my life this year. i have really been overconfident and too prideful. i seem to tink im too good. more like actually, i have been given abilities but i really overlook it. i cant do much on my own strength... its another strength i have to be fueled from, God's strength. i need plenty of that. there are many things i cant do on my own, so let me go back.

its a shame u know. as a christian. i really feel so angry with myself sometimes cos i know God forgives. as a human, i cant care abt pride anymore, and i need to repent. i need to reestablish myself. VOIDS are scary.

and a second part of last nite.. well.. it was.. i dunno, i cant find another word.

that's all i suppose.

don't you cry

I love the brand.

yawn...
how much sloth can i keep getting into?

anyway, didnt post last nite.. too bored (and frustrated) to blog. spent the day doing NW, racing, NW, racing, NW, racing.

The thing is NW made progress. Racing didnt. how disappointing although in some way its better it was like this.. haha..

but finally made race progress today! tis morning rush. haha.. and even got a new car.. LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO. its zhng-ed up already.



this is the murcielago. i did mod it abit. put a small spoiler at the back to balance things.. change the rim. sports rim. haha



back view of course. im using another picture cos the original one is huge-ass. i hate the exhaust. very ugly indeed. gallardo's back is nicer.

one might think im so into this world of cars suddenly. fantasy somemore.. in a game! obviously, such cars are not obtainable in singapore. just think about our humps. or even the marine parade humps. sure die. i dun even tink 5km/h can let murcielago go pass a hump in peace without losing its bumper. maybe gallardo could, since there have been sightings of it already.

all right. gonna be off to sch to do wp, den overnight prayer meet tonite..

N20.

RIDE: LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO
RACE RIDE(secondary): LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO
PURSUIT RIDES: CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6, MITSUBISHI EVOLUTION VIII

please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.

im back from the chalet!

wonderful time we had there... playing cards, mahjong, ps2, bowling... etc etc.. bbq until siao. its really a grace that i have not kena-ed SORE THROAT... and i completed RE4 in 8 hours.. as a mafia lord ;)

oh well.. the thanks will have to go to LIYUN.. who organised the whole chalet. hahah

anyway.. spent too much bored time on thinking.. so yea.. i feel like there is no more MOMO in life already.. almost completely gone.. and im definitely more sure that i will not turn back. thanks to those ppl that encouraged me.. the list is endless. haha.. u can tell that im stubborn eh. who ask me to be so suay.. index toe taller than big toe.. two centers of hair on my head( everyone has only one centerpoint. i have 2).. all these are suppose to indicate laziness la.. stubbornness la.. u know.. sloth.

nvm.. i shld channel all this energy positively towards wads more impt la.. u know.. not girls this time.. how abt God, studies, family, friends...

GIRL shld go later than that.

and bloody hell.. those dudes at the chalet MUST list down all the "QUESTS" i have gone thru.. hey at least it decelerated! now no speed liao hor! haha..

i just discovered an old problem that has come back to haunt me.. called self-esteem. its sky rocketing backwards. BRILLIANT!

i need a more powerful brain to overcome this problem...

yawn..

NEW RIDE: CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6
RACE RIDE: LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO
PURSUIT RIDES: MITSUBISHI EVOLUTION LANCER VIII, ASTON MARTIN DB9

sorriest person is myself.

wow. xmas is finally over. all the rehearsals are over. makeup tragedies are over. glad its all OVER!

yes. strategy has taken over and its good to go into church empty and leave full. hahaha. but this year intake smaller leh?? but more presents i tink. hahaha. to all those that brought presents thank you very much.

a sad moment will be when MOMO came. nothing to do wif her, its just me. this very sad feeling hit me hard. i dunno why. in me screamed that i had let go. seeing her, and just wishing each other merry christmas... the feeling just came to me as sad.

its tragic to see that we are frens. just tink gwen stefani's COOL. smth like tt. being frens is just weird. yes ppl, i have reached patheticism.

right, i honestly say, i dun have intent to restart anything. im too sian already.. but yet sadness comes la. its weak me. tts why.

haiz. we finish this ok.

CAR used now: Aston Martin DB9, Lamborghini Gallardo
Old rides: Volkswagon Golf GTI, Mitsubishi Eclipse. Toyota Supra, Mitsubishi Evolution Lancer VIII(best pursuit vehicle)

the joyous tragedy.

OH, christmas is so soon.

wad a quick year it has been! Too much stuff have happened. MOMO is the prime light.
ok u guys gonna kill me since i said i got over MOMO.. im struggling k.

MOMO may appear tmr. i will just be killed. argh. its so tragic la.. as in the whole thing. struggling thruout, only to lead to this.. wad a complete waste of time. my self esteem writes it la. im just not tt capable for all these. in the cruel world where such surfaceness is required, i guess i fail in the category. tragedy.

the other way i can see it is of course the CORRECT WAY, rejoicing over my uniqueness(im serious). that is good way of course, and definitely a very strong form of security. i will try to work towards that la.

a good year this is will be for my class 04. haha although i start out guai lan, hey, everyone shld start small mah KEKE..

ok. write cards la. i got one emergency card to spare. pray don't use it.

HAUNT.

one year ago

one year ago, i knew u. and we showed hope.
it was also one exact year when u twisted me first time.

i have to remember it cos it is so near christmas.

tragic.

but i cant let myself lose bcos of one person.

you can't beat the truth.

yawnnnn

just got home from the retreat, very fun, very fruitful. muz say tt it is really a BLESSED time we all had. haha.

though personally it was a bit of messed up in between here and there, i guess we all have our learning points. but i was kinda too shack. just imagine chatting wif pastor for two hours. but at least not alone la.

haha, really thank God for wantian , we talked about our issues again, and it is good to know that someone really tries to understand you. she is such a good jie. haha.. life at home is just xbox and comp, so it is not exactly productive for the mind either.

i truly feel that we have helped in enfolding newcomers and the younger ones. i dun wan to be labelled as CLIQUE here and CLIQUE there. its irritating la. i dun ask for it. dun say clique anyway, its just a common social circle(or comfort zone). but its not as if im not flexible wad, i do tlak to others. i just dun like to be given a reputation that is assumed. personally its quite disgusting for such ppl who can just TALK only, and not perform accordingly. if there is an effort, i feel impressed already. i guess its time i rebuilt my life, cos MOMO accident shld be labelled under "BYGONE".

E-learning week, haven got anything yet! ARGH!!

tonite having family dinner wif jan. i guess i will most prob start work tmr. basket, i have not had a proper sleep for the past few days, keep waking up at alarms to do stuff.

DRIVE.

kuro

black.

anyway today is such a lame day, rushed to school to print IPRA, cos scared submission time is 9am. rush to sch to print, BASKET, stupid E-printing system outside lib is SPOILT. crap la. so had to run to t14LEVEL 6 (from T19) to top up. den run back, print, go up bing and submit the thing to ANDREW ANG. basket! he wasnt even at the table(im sure all those lecturers in that room are corrupted. EG Dennis). i doubt he was even here la. wad the hell did i rush for?

den to jamming session. ok, screw up again.. and the place is not OPEN! waste another moment of my time. super tired la, wait wait slack slack. zzz super tired la.

came home to play NFS again. this time i got an EVO VIII. its kinda hard now, all the race events are insane, milestones for speed trap just not easy. u dun wanna play pursuit at this level man.. stupid QXs are damn violent.

about to go janan's house to stayover, den tmr will be the youth retreat thingy. wont be back until wed... janice is coming back, so family dinner.

My new ride: Mitsubishi Evolution VII
Old rides: Volkswagon Golf GTI, Mitsubishi Eclipse, Toyota Supra

SNAPPY WAPPY.

random topic, i guess.

ok today was spent wif the morning missed of IVP. woke up at 830. its not like im motivated. so pon again! haha. haven even seen suffy since she returned. but eventually went for GEM test. haha performed at the last, and got the lowest of the grp. well, cant really say i suck too, cos i gave the dude charlie a better role la. when asked to take his role i gave him lor, and he got like the highest in our grp. hah.. but honestly i mite not have done a good job anyway.

den off to town wif jos, where i got presents for liyun and huiru(LIYUN READ THIS. I GOT UR PRESENT haha). small surprise. haha a small one indeed. and met clara too. so got her a birthday gift as well on the spot, which kinda seemed awkward. haha. i got her a nice SPIDERMAN key chain. in LEGO. hahaha.

den shopped for HGC present. got cheap SPARKLING JUICE in watsons. hahaha. seemed like damn big, but of course, i know its worth(so does jos).

den to HGC party. ok i have a tendency to get weird items for exchange and present purposes. i got a(nother) cup. haha.

so now i am here, all beat and KO-ed.

i spent time tinking over MOMO again. GET OVER IT. the last thing tt remains.. is the fact she has no remorse. or at least seemed to me. oh well. as many will say, its her loss.

took the life quiz. check it out:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6
Mind:	5.9
Body:	7.7
Spirit:	5.8
Friends/Family:	5.3
Love:	0.8
Finance:	6.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

HOHO. love is tragic eh. i guess. BODY IS A JOKE LA. haha i guess they mean in terms of health la. not fitness. but love is REALLY distracting me. hahaha.

the best part is it offered advice. which was.. WEIRD.

Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is very low, indicating trouble. There is love out there for you. Seek the advice of wise people on how to go about finding it. Do not lose hope.

oh please. these things humour the heck out of me. go try it yourself. hahaha

i got a lot of things on my mind rite now, and it is stressing me out OK! haha.

GAME OVER!

my new ride: TOYOTA SUPRA
old rides: Mitsubishi Eclipse, Volkswagon Golf GTI.

TOUCH ME AND I'LL KILL YOU.

ooh.. ada wong. kkkkrrrrrr.... hahaha..

spent today at home, didnt go school today. spend almost all the time racing wif VOLKSWAGON GOLF GTI. hahaha.. productive? as if. like i will race and not die in an accident. as if. i will not crash the car hundred of times. hahaha

PS2 has left the house already, so lets hope its in good condition. now XBOX is in. hahaha

yes, finally done wif ipra. so glad of myself. tmr i gonna rip school's flash and dreamweaver to use here. cant get installers for those.

back to more racing.

NFS: Most Wanted.

pu tong peng you.

sweet.

i learning the song. haha NO MEANING LA. i wish it had. but its over.

btw there is some dude (or two) who likes to visit my blog for reasons? i dunno man, it sounds kinda lame. read this

YOU SUCK
YOU SUCK

YOU SUCK

YOU SUCK

YOU SUCK
YOU SUCK

Should be clear enuff huh. haha.

anyway XBOX COMES HOME. hurray! now get to play the need for speed wanted! gallardo here i come!


a corvette. i dunno wad it is, but one of the cars in NFS.
and now...



sleek.

GLORY!

the gene show.

13/12. a day to end it all.

365th day of knowing you. its been enjoyable.
no regrets of knowing you! it has been a great time knowing you.
sorry couldnt work out, but i guess its best for the both of us.

u agreed. im glad. hope u become better.

YES PPL IM FREE. i dun wanna chain on. MOMO is free too. haha.

sadly, this year of bad stuffs include, my health, my fuck grades, etc. but its ok, health is back. i will kick grades up. GENE-IUS HERE I COME. haah

thank you God. u free me. its time i return the favour.
thank you frens, u see me thru all this, i'll return the favour.

its time for gene to be back.

my fair lady.

was playing need for speed. damn, got to be honest, the cars really make u feel... AWESOME. i play wif honda civic and nissan 350z. wah. i just love 350z, definitely fantasy car, but of course, i will settle even for civic. now civic quite cool and nice. haha.

a pic of the 350z.




DEFINITELY MY FAIR LADY.

honestly was bored so i decided to whore a bit of cars here and there. hahaha

test tmr. OMFGosh.

i show hope and promise to my studies.. now i divert..

---
my nights become pointless
after you are gone
as i continue to wonder
tell me what i have done wrong

am i being ignorant
i don't know
but the question will be
did we choose the right path to go

i have no regrets on meeting you
even up to now
yet sadly, a wall divides us.
it ended up there, i wonder how

i gave up about "how"
it doesn't work.
promises, dreams, future.
although abandoned, in my mind they lurk.

spare me, because its inappropriate to leave things unfinished.
---

at least finish this, if MOMO read the blog.

PS to the others: its my expression of thoughts in its most artistic form, poetry! fine gimme some credit i did this in 3 mins.

naturally bad day.

blogging in school rite now. natural day of badness.

first the good news, which was yesterday.. completed RE4. yes last chapters were jokes.. wahahahaha. then i will have to depart ps2 tonite most prob to eddamant.

xbox comes back home!

NOW THE BAD NEWS.

here's a generated list la, starting from this morning.

LATE FOR SCHOOL
REACH SCHOOL, LOG IN COMP, CANNT ACCESS ANYTHING
START WEBMESSENGER, LAG.
COIN DROP HANDPHONE DROP
BLOGGER NEARLY HANG
FLASH TAKES BLOODY LONG TO START UP.

not to mention that my iPod earphones are down(again). oh my.

i sense a longer day ahead. KIIMMMAAA

Zng My Car

hey dudes i got the link for the cool radio show. hahah get it HERE.
or u can get it from me thru msn. i got the file at 6.8MB.

note the file is 20 mins. haha but its really worth the time. u can listen from cck to clementi. hah

Zng my car man.

violent harmonization.

birthday pix continued. SOURCE: Yinzai. thanks!

some pix tt was taken b4 we went for the party



hayashi clan of ninja. hahaha.. von and shiyu[zhi yong]



TANAK!!! AKU TAKOT!!! [ don't want! i'm scared in malay.]



im wif joanie. the cute gal. haha



i'm so gonna boost my frenster count! haha yinzai.



rachel, me, von, nisa. TIAO DANG!



dong, me, von, joanie.

and HIGHLIGHT! BIRTHDAY PIX!



mint! thanks bob-bay!



december babies. ROCK!

and that is all i have. haha. enjoy pixxing.

murderous rhapsody.

blogging in sch.

ivp is showing some movie starring tom hanks. hmm. i dunno wad it is, but its abt mr hanks being sick and some weird stuff. wadever. u cant get a grip from the middle of the show.

anyway was blog digging for photos. only managed to get a few of the dec 5th birthday-for-decemberers. here are some pix:



cutting cake. tts six of us born in december. alwyn's the oldest, than me, and blahblah go guess the order urself. haha.


that's the class pic i guess. but still abit missing here and there. haha. gracey is at most left... the SENIOR. haha

that's about all the birthday pix i have. will keep it updated.

and more will be chalet pix. haha chalet was fun. when i had hair, when we had celebrations of yins birthday, when i was still a starbucks boy. hahaha



we just reached not long ago. i brought my ps2 la, so we play play. im looking so uncle-ish cos i had to dress nice. crap la stupid starbucks. hey at elast i got my pay ~ haha



the bedroom. neat little place safra is. haha



suffy! haha



sufern and joan prepping bbq food while i was away. i reached back when they all finished la. argh. but nevertheless i managed to get to the main program, yinzai's birthday. haha



FOOD. glorious food. i tink lighting was poor. tts why flames are purple. (???)


on the final day when we went cycling. some of the scenery pix. haha

i tink tts abt it la. i dun have much to say for now. its so tiring. haha this year is really fast sia

source of chalet pix:CL
source of birthday pix:JOANIE and RACHEL KEE.

fade.

the nightmare before christmas

i love that show. reminds me of wad i enjoy. warped-ness.

examples of such(u got to watch anime at least)! kurosaki ichigo (bleach) when he warped into hollow mode, son goku( gensomaden saiyuki) when he changed to seiten taisei. i love all this good-guy-turn-to-dark-variation-and-extremely-powerful mode. it warps la. i like it. haha another example will be of course, nightmare before christmas, injecting the spirit of halloween and blending it to christmas. its really interesting.

i hope i passed my econs test though. it seems kinda dangerous. i dun wanna fail, cos i know i am born-logic. i can do such stuff la, if i can do maths easily, econs shldnt be difficult cos its theories and formulas. no difficult shit at all!

i begin to wonder abt now. this emptiness. almost completing (unless of course MOMO really crashes back in.)

im digging into some photos, and of course experimenting wif blogger. some photos of my birthday party. haha


those my dudes, at my birthday. rock!

the of course nice gals who came, really thank you all for coming.



who can forget my family. i save the best for my last. missing ones will be shirley, whom i dunno where she was, and janice, of course in honky. logan is family too u know.

haha thanks to punk-d1.blogspot.com photographer kel. haha see those blardy trademarks there. hahaha. its been an interesting week to note. and of course... i will say a bit more la.

MOMO is nice person la. i just wished MOMO understood better of the situation, and hopefully even understood me. its not like i nv liked MOMO, i tink it was a kinda serious situation, just i was nv understood. i cant live in a world where i wait wifout hope. even wif hope, there muz be promise at the end (chim until i dun really understand too.), but even so, MOMO couldnt bring promises to reality. i grow tired too. MOMO is nice. i promise tt. so in all due respect, i will say MOMO is really a great person, just like many ppl. we all have flaws. haha (:

i hate flaws though. :X PERFECTION!



GLORY!

give me back my heart.

tiring day of celebration for december babies. no pix required cos i know one of the gal's blogs shld have it flooded. haha

nice card, perfume and card, gotten by the mega sistas. hahaha
had a great dinner. thanks to the crew that came, guys first, dong, alwyn, bob, juanhui and girls joanie, von, yin, nisa, rachie, pe wen, theresa, huijie.. special thanks to gracey and chezza. yay thanks for coming, really enjoyed the time.

im all tired and beat. haha. fun day today.

---

i wan to finish all this. im feeling all tired, and maybe my health is LIKE SHIT. sorry, but i hav to save myself this time, from the vicious cycle.

snap, mirror, haunt.

great birthday party yesterday, although late planned. haha it was fun..

thanks to the crew of

kel, junwei, eddamant, jos, janan, caleb, eugene, zhiming, jaz, huiru, liyun for coming to my party. of course will thank my parents and diana too for being the family who helped out. haha

special thanks to those who smsed me to wish me. u guys rock.
dmc04, rock.

nice ring with my name engraved. a bit large though, but its all cool. haha.

it did speak for itself. MOMO(code) nv wish me happy birthday at all at the start. haha.. i was expecting it. i was sad of course. damn it, who wouldnt.. towards 1030.. i wasplanning.. yes, if she nv msged, it would be good.. however

at 1157 MOMO msged to wish me happy bday.

oh man. u dun understand how confused i am rite now.

SARU! (monkey)

yes. advanced birthday!! haha

i dun care anymore! in fact it doesnt matter. im tired. yawn

in case u guys wondered why its topiced saru, bcos i look like one. come to the party to find out.

:D