Wednesday, March 29, 2006

they say an end can be a start.

my feet are WHACKED! skate scooted for 2 hours in EAST COAST.. the distance is about from Mcdonalds to SAFRA chalet.. u can estimate the distance already huh.

i took the scooter out from here.. as in CCK.. to east coast. its kinda weird cos the scooter cant be folded. then its a bit weird.

rachel kee took blades and rollered ard. she is SUPER SLOW la.. hahah. i mean. im on scooter la! i tink she will be more lac la. hahah. but can already la. except she spent alot of time skitching on yin to relax herself. yin and von took bikes.. and of course the distance to them didnt seem much. i can already feel my left leg thinner than my right.

some photos we took when slacking.


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wah. i cannt take it. too shack. i hate that shirt anyway, but its the best for this sort of sweat conditions. my arms are like.. skinny.

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its the three of us.. again. haha. i look like a market person.

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S I A. this is what happens when i get too bored. just snap anything.

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it's nt the first day i know rachel.

ok la. so im really knocked out.. and my legs.. well.. at least they are better now. hahah.. hopefully we have another outing soon. its good exercise.

i cant blog abt anything else. just tired to. haha

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

everybody needs somebody.

i need somebody......

argh! what am i typing!

maybe cos kinda weird nowadays. cos a NEW feeling just started building up.

this time i tink i am relatively more defensive and protective.

maybe cos sometimes there are people who like to screw around with people's minds.

so its best to take the approach one step at a time.

this is kinda random. its really the holiday shit tt makes me like this la!

Monday, March 27, 2006

chop your breakfast on a mirror.

update of events that have happened...

1)MT2: My STi has maxed out.. able to be tuned to 815HP! that's about a rocket on the road. so its kinda lame to play on in story mode.. so created another car.. this time is an EVO6. better to be on par with those who started later.

2)New phone, new line. Got a new phone like finally... a w550i. no external memory, but walkman phone. its not as if i need an external memory... not like im gonna put a hellishly load of songs or applications or photos.

3)got my pay already... $60. yes!!! its good. i feel good. the second pay received. but i used the money for better purposes la. used it to help clear tithe fast. i don't like the feeling of owing ppl money.. let alone God.

4)completed reading shaman king on comics... a VERY disappointing ending.

5)the electric guitar is at my house! yea! jamming! but theres nothing i can really play... and its heavy too. learnt No Such Thing by John Mayer, thanks to eddamund who taught. finally a better purpose nowadays with that music streak.

i took a cab back with the stuff yesterday... the driver was quite funny, hes actually a singer and he told me abt his music experience. he had no kids though, so he most prob jammed with other uncles i suppose(like those you see at peninsula). he tells me about songs like Smoke On The Water, and he is a Eagles fan. his analogy of Eagles is that they like to play songs with E, A or G bass.. forming the word eagles. im like. ok. haha told me about tequila sunrise and hotel california.. its an interesting ride. cool uncles. haha.

6)i'm looking for games to play! maybe shld get stuff like the C&C:First Decade, or other nice shooters or strategy games to play. its been a boring holiday.

---

an update on my own personal life and all that, its rather been a newer fresher start la. i said it before, sometimes things that happen IN YOUR FACE really isn't easily forgivable. i hope im not even lying to myself in all this. but hey, with this newer start at least i feel more relaxed and comfortable. its abt being secure and confident and trusting. if not i can feel shitty.

if i am feeling horrible, i shall not stay horrible. does a feeling of being sympathised make me comfortable? it used to. but heck, its really stupid to, so i kinda quit it a long time ago. lets not be attention seeking huh. haha

btw there is this insane game try it out here.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

see it to believe it! rip it away!

i can't believe that i have to see it with my own eyes that i know what it really means.

i weigh nothing to you anyway. treat me invisible, i'm sure i'll be fine with it right?

thought that giving you a chance will help to see you change for the better... you became worse.

if i give you the chances, who has ever given me a chance before? WHO?

that's it, this time you pulled the plug on your own.. showing me true colours.

well done.. i can't even be angry... just amazed.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

don't stop until you see the end.

ok.. got back results.. finally.. a GPA 2.5 for the semester.. phew.. thank God for that. a list of A-D again.. D for econs.. which can't be helped.

in any case was doing some calculation.. cos to get to our local unis u need at least a GPA 3. currently my cumulative for the year is 2.343.

to get a GPA 3 ur total GP must be 18. 18 divided by 6Semesters in poly is 3. currently.. my total GP is 4.686.. so i'm left with..

18-4.686=13.314

to get GPA 3 i must score a GPA for the next 4 semesters of

13.314 / 4 = 3.3285.

HELPP!!!

but no complaints.. doing well is doing well.. so lets aim high leh! one step closer to the NUS/NTU/anything local DREAM!

(sic)

do i just feel like i'm being manipulated, taken advantage of?

i feel like that... it's utterly irritating.

am i sure that i will be ready again? will i be strong enough to hold myself against the same events?

a bad event that happened to you once was perhaps a mistake of both parties. the same event rehappening.. now that can only be your own fault.

it's a stupid confusing feeling.. really sucks. i don't need such stuff now. why do i go through all this rubbish! i should be fine! i should have moved on a long while ago! yes! for a moment i would have been invincible if not the weak spot was attacked.

perhaps being forgiving sometimes is a fool's error.

not to add that i have results in about 7 and a half hours time. God-willing, i will get my 2.5 GPA for the sem. i will be very disappointed if i don't. i really focused.. and tried my best..

i don't wan to be complacent too.. its screwing my head around.. humble me.. and make me have the basic discipline of disciplines.

save me.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

where're the dreams that i've been after?

don't feel like bloggin these days.. but will keep you guys updated.. although there really seems nobody reading la..

in any case found some work to do.. FINALLY. doing some sales promotion for some AROMATHERAPY product.. you can roughly predict that this is best directed at aunties.. unfortunately my chinese isnt zai enuff.. so yea.. i handle the malay/indian populace of aunties. i leave the chinese to my colleagues.

doing JP this week.. check out the brand OLIVER RICH.. along watsons line. next week will be WESTMALL... followed by someplace in HOUGANG.

yes.. if u wanna know the pay.. its $5 per hour.. paid even during meal hours(1 hour each).. hours are like 10-10.. 2% commission for every sale. each product.. the oils la.. they cost $29.71 and $33.60.. so u imagine how much i get if i sell one bottle nia that sort. the machine is $49.90..

actually quite good leh. the thing is quite nice. we put a bottle of REJUVENATE and smell it everytime we get tired. the sucky part is the fact of standing for what seems like forever.

kk. later going for steamboat with 04.. FINALLY some outing hor. haha..

on the other note.. things will go the way i have seen it already. i'm ready for anything anyway.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

electricityscape.

oh my gosh.

i think i'm worse than in a trap...

this time.. the scale is like hellishly dangerous!

wtf is going on! i scream for release!

if hope is set high, it will fall.

on the other hand.. there is a hellish level of confusion.

wth is going on in my mind!! i'm.. so confused...

this is driving me insane again. i don't like to lose grip over my own mentality.

Friday, March 17, 2006

master of puppets is pulling your strings.

haven blogged in a week..

its been an almost interesting week... seriously. things happen.. and i feel like.. crap. what is this familiar feeling. i don't seem to trust it.

i feel so... weird.

"it's okay to be back." it's freaking ringing in my head.

why??? screw the devil.

this is so... dangerous.
i know it's a freaking huge risk.

considering i am such a risk-taking a person, a gambler on issues... it seems this situation was automatic.

all could be alright.. i was moving on.. but what should i do?

i hate myself for not being heartless enough. shit. everything would have been smooth. it was smooth.. until.. a direct twist in events.

arghh gamble again?

Monday, March 13, 2006

RPG Game joke.


FREAKING HILARIOUS! MUST WATCH! It's quite long, so wait for it to encode.


makes me wanna produce things like these.


or u can just go to the direct link which makes it faster. the link for it is here.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

returns.

im proud to announce that my super comp is bacK!!

yes.. old power issues screwed my PSU at the back.

kinda fried it and made it need to start up and charge. no computer power unit does that i tell you.

and really.. to say.. IM BACK!

-increased font sizes to viewing my blog. is it better now?

Friday, March 10, 2006

where is heart when we need it?

lifeless organisms. we all are.

no matter, it seems all the same to me.

small things eat me.

i will eat them back.

BITE!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

all our paths are uniquely... shitty.

indeed.

im sure each of us have our shitty paths. been reflecting about my own life.. and seeing how lame and stupid sometimes it gets.

all will be ok, my sis says, cos she told me that back then when she was my age she did stupid things, and at her age now all she would do is be embarrassed and wished all those things never happened.

haha, i kinda laughed at the thought, bcos it seemed so possible. already, i have stuff to laugh about when i was way younger.. eg mooncake in chinese.. is yue bing. once called it yue liang dan gao. its an embarrassing fact. haha.

then i look further, i see other people's lives. their own share of shit, yet i came to realise one thing... we couldnt compare the amount of shit can we. its still shit.

perhaps yea, there are differences in people's lives.. but i guess i've learnt smth, tt my life is never that bad, bcos there are ppl who are worst off and survived.

kinda unlike me to write about such stuff, cos im technically bored these few days just constantly racing and reading comics. but i guess this sort of caveman mentality made me ponder. i feel different, i doubt my mind lazes that much any more.

a lot of questions ponder my mind. some stuff, perhaps its just guys.. they don't understand..

questions are like..

"why do girls always feel MORE ok than guys when a relationship snaps?(assuming girl snapped it.)" ---- no relation to me. im just pondering.

"are guys actually weaker in terms of emotion handling?"

i tried asking my sis you know. she didnt answer the first one directly.. saying that if i see it at my level, there is nothing serious at all, so usually people get played. my analogy is that the one who got hurt more is obviously the one who took it too serious when the other party had made it a play only.

but its not bad.. cos people grow. i rather grow.. than get stuck down there and just mourning and grieving. totally useless. its no difference with bad relationships. things dun work out, we got to snap out of it, cos it didnt work out... end of story.

for qn2, i feel its a yes. guys are indeed weaker in emotion handling. my sis said that girls are actually better in terms of hideousness.. where they can mask emotions much better.

guys are usually frank and smooth and easy going... well at least in my case. but... generally, when guys are hit on their soft spot.. they are much hurt. i think that for those who actually show they are very OK... are questionable. either they handle it real well.. or maybe its jsut a facade they dont really wanna show cos guys' pride again.

i dont believe in ranting anymore. as in just voicing out ur sadness. grief.. etc. i feel its quite attention seeking actually. personally i dont wanna do any of those stuff. maybe i'll share those problems. sharing is totally fine cos it is some sort of release.. but i not gonna do those venting shit.

ranted enuff today. rant again another day.

Monday, March 06, 2006

feeling(s) all crashed confused.. and twisted

argh.. pretty sad case cos im blogging from my old comp. my original comp's PSU's screwed.

ok.. today was one of those late sundays. i shall not be late anymore because tt way i can save 10 freaking dollars on a freaking cab. and i can tithe also.

oh sermon was useful(you'd think i wont listen.. haha i feed on them naturally). it was that we don't retaliate.. abt Jesus when He abt to be captured by guards.. they abt to arrest Him.. His disciples armed themselves with swords and got ready.. but Jesus tell them no need to. then one dude.. think its Peter.. go and strike the guard with his sword la.cut off the ear.. but Jesus was like STOP IT. and He go heal the dude's ear.. and let Himself be arrested.

the point we see here is that Jesus was clear in bringing forth that He was coming in peace. Apparently He doesnt need to retaliate.. he's got 12 legions of angels to fight for him.. each legion amounts to 6000.. do your math. angels are much more powerful beings than we think they are.

moral of the story: retaliation only brings forth more evil. failure to retaliate doesnt mean your weak... it means you're wise and strong(not HUM).

which leads to my next point.. MOMO-san.

she came today to crystal cos of rehearsal.. Good Friday. but i doubt so la. i tink she came to support evonne ba.

it is an obvious questionable motive, but i couldnt care less. her presence was a bit dangerous any way. she came and i was inside toilet. i came out... and saw her eye to eye. she did the eye-smile(u know, the sort of smile u open ur eyes big and smile alittle wif ur mouth). i did this _|_!!! no la. haha. i just stared and walked away lor.

i tink no pt in retaliating. i will lose more. cos i was grateful i didnt. after that it was slowly eating into me. i feel sibei sad and sian.. all those fucking past memories keep coming back. then the truth hits again and again.

she doesnt know she's wrong.

im like fuck and forget it la. just focus. yea. it was a bit difficult. ate into me the whole day. i left church it was eating me.. i drive my STi in MT still eat in me.. jam i also kena eaten...

but i guess the best part is i handle it well. i got dudes to cover me any time. thanks dudes.

in any case the damage was done. just hopefully its a training to me and i become better and better in handling..

i dont wish for anything less. just a peace of mind.

Friday, March 03, 2006

nobody's waiting for me... on the other side.

tried my hand on both initial d and maximum tune today. here are my reviews..

i can't understand jap at all. so initial d was kinda difficult. dunno how to buy card sia. haha. but in general terms.. its harder to play. first of all i haven touched a realistic wheel in my life(daytona is too... erm.) and i didnt know that it can REALLY REALLY turn. so yea. it was kinda hard to get used to.

secondly.. semi-auto gear shifts in real life is kinda confusing. nothing like the real manual gear box. it will be ok.. though i cant really tell the range of RPM i am at in a certain gear. i usually overrev too much.

MAXIMUM TUNE

much better i suppose. though i had to switch to the back view of the car because i cant really estimate my turns tt well yet. cars are quite drifty with the inertia on them. i managed to successfully buy a card.. because the game was in english. managed to get ALL TIME FAVE Subaru Impreza WRX STi (GDB) and it proved to be an effective vehicle. good acceleration and all tt.

handling wise its still not there yet.. considering how much you must play(and spend) to tune your car to tt level. so the wheel was hard to control initially.. but i adapt pretty well. game requires a lot of understeering to manage ur car to do turning.. i still cant get my hand on the bloody U-shaped turns.

gear wise is the actual gear box sort. 6-gears. i have a slight problem to shift to the wrong gear.. eg from gear 2 i wanna go to 3.. i have to go diagonal to 3. still have a problem of diagonally switching.. sometimes push it to 1.. or even 5. but its good la. i thot it was something wrong with me when i saw my acceleration go up too much(its actually the GDB's acceleration being tweaked to be one of the fastest) and i had to change gear alot. but this car is a great chaser.

gaming wise.. i suppose im still far away.. but it will be a fun gaming experience wif cars.
---


ok im bored now cos i dun have a guitar alraedy. and i cant sleep at this time. argh

i need to be entertained.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

fffooorrrmmmaaattt

i formatted my comp... so sad.. all my songs gonee

i spent the whole day doing the whole comp.. its so sian..

ok here's a joke...

an old lady went to a supermarket to buy 3 cans of cat food.. she goes to the counter and gets stopped by the cashier.

"sorry maam. you have to show proof that you have a cat.. cos our government says that old people have a tendency to eat the cat food.. i cant let u buy it unless you show me a cat."

the old lady, frustrated.. goes home to collect her cat and shows as evidence.. and walks off with her purchase.

the next day.. she went to the supermarket to buy 3 cans of dog food.. only to encounter the same scenario.

"sorry maam. please show proof that you have a dog. cos our government says that old people have a tendency to eat the dog food. i cant let u buy it unless u have a dog."

the old lady again, goes home to collect her dog and shows as evidence.. and walks off with the purchase.

the next day.. the old woman brings a bag to the cashier and asks her to dip her hand inside.

"what if its a python? you can't be telling me that you're here to buy snake food!"

"of course not! there is no snake food for sale anyway. trust me... its nothing dangerous."

the cashier.. dips her hand in and feels weird.. "aughh.. that feels like shit!"

"that's right. now can i get my toilet paper?"

hahas?!